4 Big Traps Of Life
These life traps are ingrained in us and keep us from living with joy, curiosity, and to our highest potential.
“Thinking is the root cause of all suffering.” -Joseph Nyugen
If we are feeling stressed, overwhelmed, anxious, or down, it is because we are thinking instead of living.
What I mean is that instead of immersing ourselves in life's actions, we are in our mind thinking about things. We may be with our kids but our mind is elsewhere. We may be working but our mind is worried about that promotion or about the upcoming presentation.
If you are intrigued by the mechanics of this, Joseph Nyugen explains this wonderfully well in his bestselling book “Don’t Believe Everything You Think.”
Thinking can come in many forms. Usually, it’s our fear telling us why we can’t or shouldn’t do something. Or it’s our fear trying to control the outcome.
We suffer because we think. It’s as simple as that.
In this post, we’ll cover the 4 big traps of life that cause a lot of thinking for us, which means a lot of suffering. Being aware of and avoiding these traps will help us live a lighter, joyful, and vibrant life.
Trap #1: Life is about end goals
We are doing things only to get other things in return.
If we are feeling stressed, anxious, and any of these negative emotions every day, we are out of alignment with our true self.
What does that mean?
That means we are taking actions that we don’t truly want to take. We take actions because we think we have to do them. We are fighting who we truly are. We are not being our authentic self.
And that creates immense resistance which comes in the form of overthinking.
Our overthinking = resistance.
Why do we feel resistance?
Sometimes we choose goals that we don’t actually desire but think we desire because others desire it for us. Or we desire them because others desire them.
For instance, imagine someone who has done well in school. Now their parents and friends expect them to become a “successful” professional or an entrepreneur. This expectation starts to loom over them, and they may feel they must pursue that path just to uphold their reputation.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with wanting to be an entrepreneur. The real question is about intent.
Are we starting a business out of genuine inspiration and curiosity? Or are we doing it with strings attached - seeking money, success, or reputation as conditions for our worth?
When we choose the latter, we often find ourselves taking action toward the goal only to run into resistance and overthinking, which leaves us feeling stuck.
This often happens when we choose goals that are, as Joseph Nyugen says, “means-to-an-end” goals where we do something to get something else in return. For instance, I want to build a business to get money, fame, and success in return.
Means-to-an-end goals mean that we are not happy until we get the outcome.
That’s a lot of pressure on the outcome. This brings with it a huge amount of thinking to control the outcome.
Because if we don’t see progress, what are we even doing?
How can we create from unconditional love and inspiration with so much pressure?
All this thinking = suffering.
Trap #2: No pain, no gain
We grow up believing that success only comes through hustle, hard work, and relentless grind. After all, the stories we hear and glorify are about people who worked day and night for years to finally “make it.”
Nothing’s easy in life… Without sacrifice, there’s no success.
And without ambition, life is worthless.
I mean, can you really be successful while enjoying life?
Even when it comes to our health goals whether it’s losing fat or getting fit… the “no pain, no gain” mentality is prevalent.
This form of thinking is a big blocker to getting anything in life because it makes you think suffering is a prerequisite to get it. So if you’re not suffering, whatever you’re doing is not working.
If we believe this to be true, it will be true. But it doesn’t have to be.
This kind of thinking is how we build a cage of expectations on how life should be…
This cage becomes iron walls that are never questioned. It becomes the truth of life.
And so we continue to stay imprisoned in this trap we’ve built for ourselves, forgetting that we created it.
(PS: I’m all for discipline and showing up for what truly drives us. But burning ourselves out isn’t the only way to get what we want. In fact, there’s a far more efficient and joyful path… one I dive into in my earlier post, Living Efficiently.)
Trap #3: Thinking is the solution to our problems
This trap is so ingrained in us that at first, it’ll be hard to see.
Think about a time when you were trying to solve a problem.
You started thinking…which led to spinning in mental loops, thinking it over and over until exhaustion and frustration set in.
So you drop it and move on…
At some point, when you’re more relaxed - maybe in the shower, on a walk, or while reading a book, a creative idea comes to you about how to solve it. It’s an ‘aha’ moment!
This is the magic of tapping into higher intelligence.
(And by the way, this can become a way of living not just an out-of-the-blue event you can’t control. More on that in this post - Why the best ideas come when you stop thinking)
When we come across a problem or a challenge, we dive deep into thinking. However, thinking from our limited minds for a solution is bound to create uninspiring, even frustrating solutions.
Why?
Because our minds process our past to give us these solutions. And if we want something bigger, better, magical, or different, our past can’t help us.
There is a superpower within us that we can tap into that’s accessible to us. As we grow up, we learn to completely ignore it!
So if you are using your thinking mind to solve a problem, that is a trap. And that will not solve your problem (at least not in the best way possible), so don’t bother.
It’s a bit shocking to think of what you’ll do if you won’t think …would you be stuck?
On the contrary, when we aren’t thinking, we are guided by our intuition. We tap into limitless possibilities that open up new doors for us.
When we take action as guided by our intuition, it feels effortless and aligned.
Trap #4: Trusting external validation over inner guidance
Similar to the first trap, this one is about the compass that guides our actions.
Many times we don’t realize it but when we feel psychological uneasiness or resistance, it’s because we’re acting out of alignment.
What does that mean?
Acting out of alignment means we behave differently for external reasons rather than the way we really want to.
This could mean saying things you don’t really want to just to please someone, laughing at a joke you don’t get, or taking action to get a specific response.
Socially, we do this all the time. Think about moments when you felt like crying out loud but held back because, “what will people think?”
We take action to receive some sort of praise or to appear in a certain way rather than taking an action that comes out of inspiration, curiosity, and authenticity.
A good way to know whether you are acting in alignment or not is to remove fear from the equation and ask yourself what you would do.
If everything you feared was taken care of, what would you do?
If the answer is different from how you are currently behaving, know that that is how you truly want to act. That is your truth.
And the more you fight that, the more you think. The more you think, the more you suffer.
Living to our highest potential
Letting go of our ‘ego’ or our thinking mind opens up limitless possibilities in the universe that were previously hidden behind the ego’s veil.
Staying in the ego’s veil or in your karmic patterns is why you find yourself back in similar situations over and over when you want something different.
Becoming aware of these 4 traps frees us from overthinking, anxiety, and fear, allowing us to live more freely, more creatively, and closer to our highest potential.
Thank you for reading!